Chucknorritis

Chuck Norris can play guitar on drums.
Chuck Norris once won an underwater breathing contest with a fish.
Chuck Norris has all the missing iPhone 4 signals.
Chuck Norris can jump through a screen door. Without tearing it.
Chuck Norris hates both the player and the game.
Chuck Norris once won an Oscar for playing an extra.
The Old Spice Man aspires to smell like Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn’t hula hoop. the hoop quickly revolves around him in sheer fright.
Chuck Norris can catch more bees with vinegar than honey.
Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

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